My Ex Was A Cheapskate

When you care about someone and they’re cheap with you financially and emotionally, it'll do nothing but bring down your self-worth and self-esteem. We learned valuable lessons about equality in relationships and what NOT to put up with. Thanks to all the cheap pricks who made this site possible. We may not have gotten a lot from you, but what we did get is a good laugh. At your expense! Send your story to

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Doesn't Every Girl Want a Cartman for her Anniversary?

How could I love and hate Eric Cartman so much? How could a stuffed doll cause so much inner turmoil? I am a nation divided against itelf. Allow me to give you the DL:

Our first anniversary rolls around. I'm ecstatic. This is a good sign. We've been together a year now, everything seems to be going well...I wasn't expecting a ring or anything, but maybe something meaningful, thoughtful or somehow significant.

He had me open up some small presents first - a CD, some candy...but when he presented me with 'the big box' I was stoaked. Here is was - the present of meaning or significance. Maybe he fooled me by putting a pretty necklace in a big box? Maybe he made me something? I looked up at him and smiled as I opened the box. I looked down into the box and there he was. The fat bastard of South Park. I frantically asked myself, "Shit! What facial expression do I wear?!?!" I mean, he did give me a present, but a stuffed Cartman? I kissed him, thanked him, put Cartman on my bed for a few weeks then stuffed him in a box in my closet.

On our second anniversary I got a little stuffed polar bear and a few used records.

Two shirts I handstitched for him, a Harman Kardon cd burner, a chromatic harmonia, a large and very cool velvet painting and a beautiful Western suit. What did he manage to buy himself after buying me an equally paltry birthday present? A fifth electric guitar.


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