My Ex Was A Cheapskate

When you care about someone and they’re cheap with you financially and emotionally, it'll do nothing but bring down your self-worth and self-esteem. We learned valuable lessons about equality in relationships and what NOT to put up with. Thanks to all the cheap pricks who made this site possible. We may not have gotten a lot from you, but what we did get is a good laugh. At your expense! Send your story to

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I Don't Ever Want to Fight About Money Again (so forget that I owe you)

My ex's memory is beyond selective. I believe it is pre-programmed. You owe him money? He remembers. He owes you money? He 'forgets'.

I would have been willing to believe him the FIRST time he said he forgot he owed me $150... but when he used that excuse a SECOND time?

I had put a weekend trip on my credit card after we had agreed to split the cost of the hotel. Of course whenever we took any trips we took MY car, but that's another story. So we get home from the trip and he doesn't bring up when he's going to pay me back. Weeks go by. Nothing. My mistake was not addressing the fact that he owed me a little hunk of change. I didn't want to seem 'materialistic' or 'greedy' or that I was 'keeping tabs'. This is not being a 'liberated woman'. A liberated woman (or man) can be generous but also recognize when she (or he) is being taken advantage of and calls it out.

A few months go by and we're sitting around my apartment and he complains to me that his friend hadn't paid him $80 he owed him. I'm seething quietly, thinking to myself how crappy it is that he remembers that someone owes him, but doesn't bring up that he still owes ME.

So we go out that night and he buys me one (1) beer. After we leave the bar, we go to a movie theater where they have waiters and waitresses and you can order food and drinks. I don't order anything, but he orders a bucket of beer (a six pack). I don't drink any of them. When the check comes around he doesn't reach for his wallet. The waiter comes around again. He still hasn't paid. I whisper to him that he should get out his cash so the guy doesn't have to come around again and he says, "Aren't you going to pay this time? I mean, I bought you a beer at the bar...." At this point I implode.

When we get back to my apartment I tell him why I'm pissed: you complain about people owing you money when you owe me money, you make NO mention of when you intended to pay me (if ever), you buy me ONE beer and you expect me to pay for SIX of yours? He tells me, "I forgot. I swear I'll pay you next week. I don't ever want money to come between us again."

To his credit, he paid me back. But he must have forgotten that he used this line before, because a year later he used it again when we took a trip to New Orleans and he 'forgot' to pay me back for the hotel again. Memory. It is a strange thing.


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