My Ex Was A Cheapskate

When you care about someone and they’re cheap with you financially and emotionally, it'll do nothing but bring down your self-worth and self-esteem. We learned valuable lessons about equality in relationships and what NOT to put up with. Thanks to all the cheap pricks who made this site possible. We may not have gotten a lot from you, but what we did get is a good laugh. At your expense! Send your story to

Monday, May 16, 2005

The Ghost Of Christmas Present(s)

This last story inspired me to write my own, which isn’t as funny, but perhaps puts an interesting spin on the “cheapskate” moniker because my cheapskate ex accused me of being a cheapskate. Christmas was, for my ex and I, the final nail in the coffin of an already waning relationship. I was in Europe (on tour) for three weeks and got home December 26th. Because space, time and money where quite limited while I was on tour, I bought a bunch of small gifts that I felt were thoughtful from the different countries I had visited.

Obviously, not being home, I wasn’t able to go through the more strenuous holiday preparations I went through in previous years – something I always enjoyed. In my absence, my ex had, to my surprise, really put a lot of effort in decorating. He bought a tree, put up lights and wrapped presents. I was shocked as this wasn’t really the type of stuff he normally did. But I was impressed. After all those years when I made the effort, I felt like he was getting it! He was doing something nice for me! Everything seemed fine.

About two weeks later, after a fight – about what I no longer remember (though most likely about him not cleaning the house…ever), he wrote me a long letter in which he detailed what he felt all my transgressions for the past two years of the relationship. I don’t know if this was just a running list in his head or if he had been keeping notes, but just about everything from my appearance to wrong things I had said years ago were covered. But the worst thing about this letter was that he had felt that my Christmas gifts didn’t match up to his – that he was “disappointed” in the money and time I had spent. When I mentioned that I had been out of town for the entire previous month, he said that I should have planned in advance for that. When I mentioned that I had, for the four previous years put an incredible effort into Christmas and his birthday, while I felt he had shown considerably less interest in mine – that didn’t matter. For the first time in the relationship, he had spent more money than I and he didn’t like it! And all this after years of letting me cook, do the housework, schedule and pay for plumbers, electricians, insurance and repairs to the house he was living in (while allowing him to pay ¼ of the cost of living there). I felt so insulted that I had been called a cheapskate…by the damned cheapskate!

Well, everything went downhill from there. We never recovered from that – and thank god too. I realized shortly after the breakup that I had dodged a bullet. In the following year and a half, I met a wonderful man who is a caring and equal partner, both emotionally and financially. People, don’t underestimate yourself and don’t settle for less. If it feels wrong to you, it probably *is* wrong. Get out while you can.


  • At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Isn't it funny how people who are consistently stingy feel slighted the minute *they* feel like they're the ones who put in more effort?

  • At 2:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What a whiney bitch you are!!!!

  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger dirtyweekender said…

    Whoo! Them's fightin words!

    Please, feel free to elaborate on your thoughts. Or do they end at name-calling?

  • At 8:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    a whiney bitch, eh? well, that's it - i'm not getting you ANYTHING for christmas now!!!!

  • At 8:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm not getting anything for them, either! No Pepperidge Farm meat and cheese crate for you! Do you hear me??

  • At 5:28 AM, Anonymous morag_eyrie said…

    This story just made me go purple with indignation. I think there should be a new category of high-functioning psychopath in the diagnostic manual. The complete and utter lack of a sense of FAIRNESS or JUSTICE or EMPATHY. Or just the idea that there are human beings in the world besides oneself. This man should go into mainstream politics, he could easily get a job as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

  • At 2:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I can just picture him, 'Waaaa! She got more ice cream than meeeee!'

  • At 1:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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