My Ex Was A Cheapskate

When you care about someone and they’re cheap with you financially and emotionally, it'll do nothing but bring down your self-worth and self-esteem. We learned valuable lessons about equality in relationships and what NOT to put up with. Thanks to all the cheap pricks who made this site possible. We may not have gotten a lot from you, but what we did get is a good laugh. At your expense! Send your story to excheapskate@yahoo.com

Monday, May 16, 2005

You Don't Bring Me Flowers...

...You don't sing me love songs. Well, that's what Willy would say anyway. Check out this tale of woe from our friend, J:

I ran into my ex-cheapskate last weekend. It was a rough breakup but I've
come to terms. He wanted to let me know how much I had taught him about
the little things in a relationship (he has a new victim...). I asked,
"What kind of little things?" "Oh, you know...just little suprises to let
her know I'm thinking of her." Trying not to smack him (this is a man
who "forgot" my
b-day, x-mas, valentines, and cheated on me to cap
off
our one-year anniversary. Needless to say there was no second)
I asked "Like what?" He said, "Well, I was grocery shopping the day
after Mother's
Day, and there were all these discount flowers, so
I got her some."
He is looking at me like a four year old that finally
got the hang of potty training. "So you got your girl discount flowers?"
He faltered, "Yeah, I mean they weren't dying or anything, and hey what's
wrong with saving money AND making her happy?" I inquire if he is going
to marry her. He isn't sure, but then informs me she let him move in with
her, allowing him to rent out his house and make money off their rela-
tionship. Then he asked me to buy him a beer, and let me know her
house is worth a half-million.
I bought him the beer out of nostalgia
and wished him well.

Take off the love-goggles! That isnt the sparkle of love in his eyes,
it's little dollar signs! It's nice when you get past the hurt and
just see them for the ex-cheapskates they are.

13 Comments:

  • At 8:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sounds familiar. My excheapskate used to give me the filler-flowers as bouquets because they cost less than $5.

     
  • At 12:34 PM, Anonymous azn cutie said…

    so many boys, so few men! boys that get stuff paid for by women consistently should be by the women that pushed them out of their womb....unless you can genetically engineer your kids to be so close to your age or you just plain just forgot you had them, you should remember this: we aren't these guys' mamas

     
  • At 5:23 AM, Anonymous morag_eyrie said…

    I do hope you bought him the cheapest beer in the place. He is very lucky he didn't wear it all over his head, IMHO. The four-year-old comparison made me smile though.

     
  • At 2:02 PM, Anonymous former gf of shlub said…

    cheapskates drink PABST!

     
  • At 1:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Or whatever they can find in your refrigerator.

     
  • At 12:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I do believe my ex-cheapskate went to either the funeral home or graveyard. Coming to pick me up one day he brought me flowers. I saw him getting out of the car. As I stood in the doorway watching him come up the walkway I began to cry...tears of joy that he had thought of me.
    As I pulled the card off of the arrangement the card read "With our deepest sympathy, signed XXXXX.
    He failed to remove the card....

     
  • At 12:42 PM, Blogger dirtyweekender said…

    Noooooo! A grave robber! Well, I guess just be glad he didn't give you any um, jewelry.

    xox

     
  • At 12:44 PM, Blogger dirtyweekender said…

    Whoever posted this comment about the flowers, please please please send it to our email account. This story needs posted! We will love you forever!

     
  • At 7:26 PM, Blogger The Dummy said…

    This story is sumptin' all right. :) Like morag_eyrie said, I'm surprised you didn't make a hat out that beer can for him.

     
  • At 10:45 AM, Blogger miro said…

    I just came across your blog about link popularity and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here. I also have a web site link popularity so I know I'm talking about when I say your site is top-notch! Keep up the great work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!"

     
  • At 4:52 PM, Anonymous flowering shrubs said…

    Hi there,

    I just ran across your site and enjoyed reading through everything.

    I'm trying to get a blog going on my site too. But I dont think i have the patience to do it!

    --Amy
    My pictures of trees Site

     
  • At 12:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Best regards from NY! »

     
  • At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

Post a Comment

<< Home